Now, we wait.

My sister-in-law went to the doctor, filled out a bunch of paperwork, and sent some to me.

I filled out my stack (personal questions, anyone?) and sent the package back to the fertility clinic.

Now, we wait.

We wait for her to start her cycle.

We wait for the doctors to "approve" me.

We wait.

It could all start in 4 weeks, or we could have to wait longer.

Is it awful to say that I'm a little bummed that this all fell together in the summer? I've been working pretty hard on being swimsuit ready. I have a feeling that all of the hormones I have to take will add a few pounds. I know how selfish that sounds, but this is all about honesty, right?

I think the waiting is the hardest. I'm not a good waiter. I have a lot of time to think. I have thought about all the "big" stuff, like making a child with my DNA that won't be mine. Now, I'm thinking about silly things. Like swimsuit season. And the 6 weeks of shots, and if they'll hurt. Will I be able to give the shots to myself? Since we're not telling my children, will I be able to hide the shots from them? Will I be emotional and moody for 6 weeks?

Ok, back to waiting...

An Emotionless Gift?

I have been told that I'm not as emotional as I should be about this egg donation thing. So, I have thought about it. And here's what I've come up with:

When you do a favor for a friend, and they say "thank you," do you say "well, it was kind of a pain, but you're welcome" or "yeah, you have no idea how much you owe me" or do you say "anytime!"

Because I'm an "anytime!" kind of gal. I assume that whoever I did the favor for knows that I went out of my way to help them, and they're thankful for that.

And I do realize that donating my eggs is big. Really big. And I realize that not anyone would do it. I realize that it's giving a lot of myself and my time. I realize that it's not only a 6 week process, but there may be some emotional stuff, like, having a niece or nephew who has my DNA. That might be strange. The child may look similar to my children. The child may have disabilities, and I may feel bad about that. There may not even be a child that comes from this, so my gift may not end up being an actual "gift."

And though far-fetched, if K and her husband both die at the same time, they may will their child to someone. So, the child with my DNA may be brought up by someone I don't know. But that's ok, because it's not my child.

I have thought about all of this. But I'm just not the type of person to remind everyone of what a big deal it is. Don't worry, though. I'm thinking about it, and I'm sure that I'm ok with it.

I have told a few people about this, and they have all said something like, "Wow. That's amazing. I don't know if I could do that."

Would you every reply with, "Yup. It is amazing. Aren't I great?"

You wouldn't. You would say what I have said.

"You would do the same thing if you could."

Which is the truth. You would do it if you could.

So now that I have acknowledged this and the big deal that it is, can we move past this? If you can't tell, praise makes me a little uncomfortable.

:)

What's The Story?

My sister-in-law (K) is my husband's sister. I have known K for over ten years and consider her to be my own sister. When I heard that she needed eggs in order to have a child, I offered mine.

That's the story.

K asked that the egg donation not be shared with her side of the family. But in order to donate my eggs, I had to tell some close friends. I am going to need help with childcare for appointments and such, and to be honest, I am one of those people who needs to bounce things off of friends every now and then. With something so significant going on in my life, I knew I would need to tell a few people.

I have chosen to tell friends who don't know my in-laws, and who I can trust not to post about the egg donation process on facebook. We don't live near any family at all, so this secret isn't going to be hard to keep from her side of the family.

When sharing the decision, I was met with a few questions. Well, actually, I was asked one question a few times.

Why?

My answer? Because I can. And because I want to.

I have something that she needs to start the process, and it seems selfish to keep it to myself.

I know that it's not going to be fun. I know that it involves many doctor's appointments, hormone injections, and at the end, an egg retrieval process on the other side of the country.

But if it results in the chance to give K and her husband a child? It seems like a no-brainer to me.